Hello Temptation ;-)

A 24-year-old who loves to listen to hip hop music on his iPod and plays war video games to soothe his nerves. This is the revered Karmapa Lama, Trinley Dorje - a Buddhist monk who can be true to his beliefs, and yet enjoy the perks of the 21st century.

We often think of salvation as giving up of worldly desires. A trip to the mountains, where lies no temptation. There was a very interesting question asked years ago at a Miss India beauty pageant. The question was, “Adam and Eve were warned with dire consequences against eating the apple. Yet the snake in the park was persuasive, he tempted them into eating the forbidden apple. Now you are the police; whom would you arrest for this act?”

The ladies were clear, “Of course, the snake. He tempted them, and he knew it was wrong. God had forbidden it.”

You know what they missed? Adam and Eve. Temptations are presented to you in life to test your courage, ethics and faith. You trip, and you fail! You cannot banish all the snakes (temptations), but you must learn to control your desires. Simple example, you are on a diet and your friend sends you a box of Belgian pralines. What do you do? Live with it! Let your family enjoy it, but don’t break your diet because, hey, this is Belgian pralines duh…!

I think living in the real world, with your desires is far more difficult then retiring away in the hills with basic necessities. A holiday is welcome, but a lifetime…hmm, too early to decide!

Annals of the Ladies Washroom

We have common rooms, cafeterias, malls, lounge areas, but yet I have seen scores of ladies chattering happily inside the washroom. Bedroom stories are swapped, new fashion trends and make tips are freely exchanged, plus a lot of not-so-nice things are spoken about some colleagues, bosses and even the neighbour’s wife. I have seen a maid once sitting in the corner of a large washroom at a mall, and painting!

Tell me is such banter restricted to us, or does the men’s washroom pretty much follow the same routine?

In fact, to think of it, some people take enormous pleasure in locking themselves in their ‘glamour rooms’ at home and preening themselves. SRK is supposed to have got a lot work done on his laptop, check mails etc during his alone time in the washroom. My husband, and I think a thousand others, like reading the morning newspaper inside the toilet!

Why?!

The toilet industry is a billion dollar one. People spend millions purchasing the perfect Jacuzzi, showers, basins, mirror etc. Supposedly half your life is spent on the pot! Makes sense then to spend, right? (Check this for how much thought some people have given to turn a bathroom, into a work of art: http://adelto.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/luxury_contemporary_modern_bathroom_bath_agape_bonatti_ponsi_scoop_minimal.jpg)

There is a home near London that supposedly devotes 1000 sq ft of space just to the bathing area (that’s the size of a 2 bed apartment, in most places!). Italian marble and precious stones find their way here; and so do interior decorators.

In fact, have you heard of the toilet rolls that can be customized for your needs – colour, fragrances, paper quality, all of them to suit your bum’s delicate needs. Of course, for a pretty hefty price. And yes the all gold toilet seat is a reality; a jeweler’s glamorous idea obviously.


See, now you can work on a new business model. A commercial toilet with gold leaves and diamonds with a sign – shit, but for a fee. I am kidding; or am I ;-)

40th Anniversary of the Moonwalk... Where are the aliens?

It has been 40 years since we had our little stroll on the moon. It was giant step for mankind, remember. Space tourism, they say, will soon be on the menu. You will replace the term globe trotters to universe trotters…

Yet what we await is sign of intelligent life out there. Personally even an alien goldfish swimming around out there in a space bowl sounds good enough. Have you ever taken a leap of faith and believed in something no one ever did?

If you had to imagine aliens, how would they be? Maybe they have pink skin like ours, three small eyes, but no lips. They can read minds and send signals, but they cannot express themselves like us. We have emotions that make us vulnerable and well, human! And this facet attracts them…

Maybe they listen to our radio and television broadcasts and wonder why Joey and Chandler laugh apparently for no reason. Maybe they want Angelina Jolie to adopt a few space kids and are reviewing her profile. Yet again they might love Mozart, but have planned to hit Prince with a meteorite.

Who knows we might one day have a new MySpace social network, where your profile page would ask for your home planet, and current planet. We’d have travel sites where you could choose a freezing stint in former planet, Pluto or a hot bath at Venus. Maybe a 2 night, 3 days package on the Saturn rings, before you start another interstellar operation…

I would ask them to just tell me how to make all fatty calorie rich food into zero calorie deserts. Dreamy, ain’t it?

Aliens if you reading this, please pay us a visit sometime before we trigger-happy earthlings blow all of us up or melt all the polar caps and be one with the fishes…

Courageous or sheer stupidity?

I have got an interesting question – what is courage?

Bill Maher, a talk show host, said that it took “courage” for the terrorists to sit in an airplane, bang into the WTC and well, commit suicide. Of course, he received serious flak for his comments.

However, I would like to debate this. Is courage an attribute of the morally just? Or can it be seen as morally neutral, even though you may not agree with the outcome of the ‘courageous’ act?

Suicide is cowardice – accepted.

Yet is being courageous also stupidity? Is it safe to assume that only in hindsight can we really label an action as courageous or one of sheer stupidity….

Perplexing, isn’t it?

Let’s take an example of war. Country A invades Country B. Country B soldier knows that the only way to warn his fellow soldiers is by running across bunkers to where the only satellite phone is kept. If he runs, he may be shot. If he stays put, he can run out towards the night, when the ‘enemies’ have moved ahead. However, it means the others are not warned, and there would be heavy causalities... Country B soldier decides to risk his life, and warn the others. He runs… He gets shot.

Was he silly, stupid, brave, courageous?

Some may say he was being stupid – the odds were against him, he could have saved himself and others, if he had waited. Some may honour him with a medal, and say the risk was worth taking and he put his country, before himself.

Courage is such a deep, personal thing that defining it would be difficult. It depends on perspectives.

Life guards day-in and day-out put themselves in danger – is that stupid or courageous? A fire fighter runs inside a burning building, when every one else is running out, to save another…he may be the single bread winner, and has a large family support – smart idea or bad choice?

What is your opinion…think…debate..share..

Power plays and relationships

There is a certain Russian philosopher who described friendship akin to slavery. Now, I think the man was a bit too harsh. Friendship is a beautiful gift…
I think what he meant was the concept of power play. In every relationship there is an element of power play, no matter how subtle. Even in friendship or a marriage.



There is always one who adjusts slightly more than the other. You might not have noticed it, but when you go out for say dinner with your friends, the few minutes spent debating on the choice of cuisine, will pretty much determine the power-play relations. One will relent and go in for what the group wants, and there still might be one who imposes his/her wish – no one orders any mushroom dish today; please guys not Chinese! Someone will accede. Subtle choices, but the dominant player is established.

Many married couples and families’ power structure is determined based on who controls the remote. Is the bully elder brother adamant about forcing everyone to watch TNA Wrestling or is the youngest daughter controlling enough that each dinner must be had with Bob The Builder playing in the background.

Every relation is a two-way street. However how big your lane is, is decided by how you adjust to the power structure.

Are we born with a moral compass?

Heard a simple question – do innate ethics exist? Are we really born with a moral compass, or is that we are conditioned to believe in a value system that your parents, culture, tribe or nation impose on you.

The answer I believe cannot be in absolutes. A child when born is innocent and unaware of ‘realities’. However, when he sees another smiling or laughing he responds with a smile or chuckle of his own. He tries to understand what caused the other to smile, was it a good gesture, a joke, a rose… Again when he sees a bully’s angry face go try push another child, he immediately assesses the reaction of the child at the receiving end.

Such interactions ultimately lead up to a value system.

I’ll give an example; my brother was a few months old. He was in my mother’s arms and was trying to reach for a piece of bread in my plate placed nearby. Ma picked it up and gave it to him…as he put in his mouth to chew on, I clumsily banged my foot in the sofa while trying to reach his cute cheeks. Tears sprang from my eyes. Seeing this, immediately my baby brother offered the bread to me. He simply assumed I might have wanted it… I actually started laughing, and was startled by his warm gesture.

Therefore, the deduction would be ethics or ethical behaviour is learnt only in context to others.

It may differ from one person to another simply by virtue of the environment, culture, tribe or nation you grew up in. What was right some years ago is acceptable today. Some years ago same sex marriages were considered unnatural, today some states have decided to amend their law on morality and have accepted the concept of sexual orientations. Is it not an ethical debate?

Stem cells research and cloning are again matters of debate. A scientist may find it ethical to abort a child with congenital defects that would, if born, would have lived in a vegetative state. A priest may find the idea of aborting a life abhorrent.

Ethics define our actions, and they are determined by and for the society you live in.

Whose watching?

It was a breezy summer morning. There was a lot of anxiety and chatter among students; you could see it on their face. The bell rang – the first mandated us to essentially freeze in our positions. You could not move or talk, while the Prefects walked around with an air of authority…ready to pull up any mischevious student. Try fidgeting and they will take you and have you stand on the stage, with the world’s (actually just the rest of the students’ & every single teacher’s) eye upon you.

That morning as the second bell struck and we assembled in respective lines, we heard hush murmurs… “Hey look…” “not there” “see..” “It’s there for sure”

The crowd quickly assembled, and after our morning prayers, Sister came to deliver her message for the day.

“There was once a farmer who was picking corn for his master. The master had gone out till evening, and needed the corn collected and packed neatly. The farmer was conscientious in his work, but today he was feeling lazy. He had called his son to help. As he saw his son pick out the corn, he had an idea.
“Son let’s fill up an extra bag with corn for us; no one will know.”
To this his son replied, “No, he’s watching”.
The father jumped and looked around. “Whose watching? Where? Oh my God, where?”
To this the son just pointed up at the sky, “God is watching”

Sister was going to elaborate on it further, when a girl screamed, “Look!” She was pointing to the toilet window on the 1st floor. The window was open and a white cloth, which seemed attached to the window, had got caught in the wind and was flapping away.

There had been indiscriminate talk of a ghost haunting for the past few days. This was supposed to be proof…

If you listened closely, you could hear a whispered collective thought, “Whose watching?”

A car named life

Sometimes life behaves just like a car. We steer it in a direction, and voila you suddenly find yourself at Disneyland. Hand over the steers to another, and there you land yourself a flat tyre. Life needs controlling, it needs direction and it needs to reach a destination.

Why are so many of us trapped in following the route laid out by others? Why is that we are afraid to make a U turn and take time to explore opportunities? It is never too late to follow your dreams…my grandpa got a law degree after he retired from his day job at around 60!

And for heaven’s sake you’ve got just these pair of wheels, look after them, oil them, nurture them…. Stop ogling at the Ferrari. Each life has its own unique purpose; find it!

Make things happen, don’t let things happen to you.

Save the world with non-sticky chewing gum

Praise the Lord, we have discovered non-sticky chewing gum. Yes, you may think we have better things to discover, like a cure for AIDS, cancer or the definitive obesity gene.

But no non-sticky chewing gum is actually a huge leap. In UK alone it is said that city councils spent 150 million pounds to remove the icky substance from public places, roads etc. This new found gum turns to dust after 6 weeks and does not stick to clothes.

Now maybe we could use this money to look at global warming issues and buy a huge freezer for the melting glaciers!

Picture Imperfect

You know we love to hoard things. Memories, photos, food, old clothes, gift wrapping paper…. Anything that can tie down the good times forever.

Photographs – these are those beautiful tools when memories fade, and you start questioning how you landed up here. They are sacred.

I am amazed how freely people show off their very personal private moments for the rest of the world. Do you need the validation of friends on how wonderful your chemistry is, or how smart your new haircut looks…how much weight you lost?

Unfortunately, to some those questions the answer is yes. When you look good, feel great, you do want to share. Yet in this virtual world, one has started seeking constant approval. So you have Photoshoped images, lightening of the complexion, removing the pudgy lines under your chin etc etc.

That’s when it gets crazy. Nothing is good enough. Not even your partner. Even he/she goes under the Photoshop cropping knife. The little bulge is immediately deleted, the extra lock of hair is chopped off, the smile zoomed in, even a touch of sparkle in the eye – your pairing must be perfect.

Artificial, rather!

Nothing in this world is perfect, not even true lovey dovey relationships. And that is the beauty of it…

Mirage

You move ahead trusting what you feel, what you see…Promises that ring true.
Yet when you close in you find out it was just a mirage.
A mirage you wanted to hold, but tighter you held it, the more it slipped away.
Unbelieving you go ahead, and look to move and see a new tomorrow.
Mirages once more engulf you, this time you can see it.
Yet you accept it.
The reality of illusion seems better than the isolation...

Amma

She was a beautiful, positive and a very strong lady. There was never a dull moment around her. When she laughed, she’d clap her hands and burst out loud. Her hair all silver, and had quite thinned out. Yet, she liked to dress in style. Her eyes were bright and alert. And god, if any one tried hurting her children or her family, her glare was enough to turn a person into pure putty.

This was my grandmother…

She passed away quite recently. And somehow we all knew she was planning her last journey to heaven… She had stopped eating, but still till the end her eyesight and memory was perfect. When I walked into her room, a day prior to her final farewell, she looked at me with a hint of confusion. I had shortened my hair, maybe that’s why…
And then she grasped my hand, and repeated my name over and over again. She playfully felt my face with her hands. They felt a bit cold and coarse. She used to be very diligent about using a cold cream – a brand I cannot recall – which had a white silver tinge to it. She’d then use Cinthol powder. I guess my elder brother had insisted on that over the ‘girlish’ Ponds.

As she lay down on her bed and looked at me I could not bear to see her so old, weak and in pain. She had been bed ridden for the past month and had a whisper of a body. This was a lady who’d walk up and down with a straight back, love to shop, visit new places, make friends every where she’d go and was clearly a party gal.

After I met her, she as per her nature enquired if I had tea… It was crazy and emotional. I had a major break down…nearly lost my breath. It affected my mother, as she held me whispering I get a hold of myself.

The rest of the evening passed without event. She disliked any one of us sitting next to her too long; she did not need pity. Headstrong and stubborn were the other two qualities that perfectly described her.

In the morning she passed away after seeing my father. She had slight smile on her face and looked so at peace. Even in her death, beauty had not evaded her.

Do I wish talk to her again? Yes, of course. I miss her a lot…

She had taught me some old bhajans – something called
‘Baba Damruwale, Nacho na humare angana
Humar agana, Ji humare angana
Baba Damruwale, Nacho na humare angana’

I remember I wanted to run off to play hide-n-seek, but she insisted I learn some songs and train my voice. I had loved the attention, spending time with her. In fact, when we would want to play Antakshari, she’d quickly add bhajans to the list.

She also loved to eat ice-cream and Fun Flips, a common snack back home. Vanilla ice-cream was a huge favourite. If she could, she’d have eaten an entire tub. And could have easily been the brand ambassador for Mother Dairy ice-creams.

Her way at looking at life was very different from the rest. Take for example an incident when we kids wanted to have lemon juice. We were watching an Indiana Jones movie together and Amma mentioned she’d make us lime juice. Now I reminded her that I just had looked in the morning, and had discovered we’d run out of lemons. She looked at me and smiled. No problem, let’s mix water and sugar and drink it now. Let’s not get worried over one missing ingredient.

I loved her, and still do. I always will. And I hope she will too…

What changed?

Logged to an old networking site… Been there for ages; though in the past year I have been quite invisible…

I was reading my old messages. Mails I sent, and many that I received over the years….yes I have a problem deleting old letters, cards etc…

You know, what I noticed? I was different…or may be my life was different.

I have grown up now. Become less patient, exuberant and spontaneous as I used to be.

Yet I have come into my own; I am confident, secure and more a girl than the tomboy of yesteryears. I do not exchange SMSes like a love struck teenager, and I do not appreciate being called ‘babes’, ‘sweetie’, ‘bubbly’…except from my loved ones.

I do not care for virtual friends; I have started valuing far too greatly the real world relationships.

I even look much better; gone are the flared jeans and oversized pullovers. You’d most likely see me in a snug trouser or jeans and a lovely smart top/t-shirt.

I used to laugh with little inhibition; and the people around me joined in. We used to have a wonderful time together. But the city changed, people changed, work changed and I grew up….

Today I still miss laughing with my friends and colleagues. Flashing a smile and winking at my friends when a cute group of guys passed by…. Going to sleep with no one asking me to ensure I have my cell phone, laptop and other senses on stand by in case one of the super Bosses had to ask me a trivial question…

I love my life today as a confident young professional; but I have started questioning why we all are expected to lock up our innocence and youth each day as we grow older?

Friends forgotten and lost

We all have in our life friends, tucked into the folds of memory, who have made life special. Some have forgotten you and some you have forgotten.

I had read an article in which the author shared that sometimes let memories be just that. Do not try to catch it again. That moment is gone, and trying to catch up/relive them is not a wonderful affair. You may end up remembering the botched up conversation and lose the beautiful moments of yesteryears.

To confess there was someone whom I wanted to speak to for years together. She was my childhood friend. We might have not known each other for more that three years, but her memory was deeply etched in my mind. I googled her name, searched in Orkut, batchmate sites and then after 16 years found her again on Facebook.

It should have been great. Yet the lady responded in pleasant surprise in one mail and then never wrote back. I do not know if I was happy to hear she was alive, happy and doing well; or feel cheated for losing my fondest of childhood memories.

Life has dealt us our cards; and I believe each person meets you at a point of time in your life for a reason. Yes, one can argue that sites like I mentioned above have united many long lost friends.

Perhaps I am just unlucky in this field. I have lost dear friends to time, to their busy lifestyles, to their better halves…. Some, I realized much later, were around only because I had the power influence great decisions at work; their bonuses depended on what I thought of their ideas. Sad!! I am such an oaf; never recognized them.

Hmmm, anyway the better halves line is interesting…I need to do another post for that!

Unlearning to fit in

There are few comic strips that become legend, and Calvin & Hobbes is surely one.

Calvin is charming with his viewpoints that do not restrict themselves in the realm of the plausible.

He is like every child, and the child within us. He is curious and can entertain himself endlessly. A bathtub can be a boat, his rubber duck can be a shark. His closet a haunted house...

Calvin and his imaginary friend Hobbes are very reminiscent of children who are very bright. So much so that the ordinary holds no value for them. Since they have the capability to think differently, they are shunned by peers.

It our desire to ‘fit-in’ that diminished our creativity. We try to ‘fit-in’ to mainstream jobs, we try to ‘fit-in’ by appearing to read tombs of classic literature, we try to ‘fit-in’ by nodding in approval to what the general team’s opinion….

It takes a unusual thinker to progress. If Galileo really believed the Earth was flat, we’d be sitting here worshipping the rain gods and singings peons to the sun and moon.

Self-belief is important; and so is the courage to share a different opinion.

They will judge for what you build, not destroy

It is such a great line…From Barack Obama’s speech, “To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West: Know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy…”

If one really understood the essence of the line, individuals, families and nations will be transformed.

We focus too clearly, or too unilaterally rather, that many a times we do not realise whose feet we just stomped on; whose dreams we squashed.

Build a city of joy and see each one blossom. Give encouragement to new ideas, ask for productive inventions, seek newer paths…

War is ultimately futile. I put a bullet through your head, and you put one in mine. Great, now what?!?!

History remembers those who contributed to the welfare of the people – economic or emotional. If you want to be really valued, then respect differences. Only a room full of different opinions can think of an out-of-the-box new idea.

This is my opinion; I respect yours…

Mysticism

Mysticism is search for the divine. And this quest is the underlying thread of all religions in the world.

We all are seeking that one lesson that we need to imbibe to reach God. Yet, many have abused in the name of the Almighty.

There are terrible sacrificial ceremonies propagated by insane groups. From the child to the goat, nothing is spared. This is no religion, but some idiots who claim it pious to kill.

Why people follow such groups is fathomless…

God, is actually a form of energy. Energy that is pure and powers our life.

There should be no set formula to find God; it just too personal a journey to be put in watertight compartments.

They love the chase, and they love to pursue

Even married women love being pursued. In fact the need to chase and be chased seems like an intrinsic need.

A friend of mine is quite married, but her ‘networking’ brings her a variety of suitors ever so often. Now the act to her mind is innocent, but there is a clear feeler sent out each time she communicates.

The way one dresses, crosses her legs or simply brushes her hair can be a signal. Men pick up on the scent. And trust me the women know it!

A gentle pat on the back can mean a lot… In fact, most outside observers can easily tell you who is going steady, who is bored and who is ready for merriment.

There is a tone that will be a little extra gentle, there is that confused look as if you never got a hint and then a suffused smile that just spreads itself…

Love is wonderful; but many people just love the act of falling in love. Once that is over, the mystery is over…and only true love can survive that!

Comparing children

Oh god, when will parents realize that every time they compare their child to another, they are doing grave injustice.

It is commonplace to hear parents berating a child….

“Why did he get more marks?”

“Why can’t you be like those kids?”

“Do you know Uncle’s son got into MIT! You think you can match him?”

“Isn’t she such a pretty girl? Wish she was my daughter…”

“Now see, he plays football like a real champion. Perhaps you should just drop it, you won’t qualify…”

You know, these are like poison arrows. Once you have released them, no amount of love can repair the hurt.

Learn to respect your child. Learn to give him/her space to grow.

Did Van Gogh learn to paint when he was 5!! The amount of pressure for kids to outclass the other is mind boggling. From extra tennis lessons to the violin class, they have to be present every where.

It is great to let them explore their talents, but let them enjoy it as well. Everything in life is not a competition. Sometimes, having fun is more important than hitting a home run.

Office politics

If we could legally get away with murder, then office politics will be a motive behind many such attacks.

Yes, I have seen some nasty fights between people. Oh no, never verbal. It is that snubbing, marking cc to his/her boss each time you ask a question, sending repeated reminders with a reply all email, walking out of the doorway just when it his/her birthday celebration etc etc.

Why?

It is such a petty thing. Waste of a lot of happy hormones, if you ask me… It is human nature to constantly compare. But the best one to compete with is you!

How can you degrade yourself to benchmark your success based on someone else’s accomplishment. Be happy for them and move on.

No amount of fretting and fuming changes anything. Then why bother to spoil your own mood? Trust me some just do it to make you annoyed…and when they see you sufficiently irritated, a wide grin will be plastered on their faces.

It is best not to give anyone that chance. Enjoy your own life; each one has a destiny. Just follow it…

Work life balance

There is beautiful quote, “Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow’”

It is something that keeps me always motivated and not bogged down by work pressures.

In this high stress, over achieving arena, it seems to be compulsory never to fail, to always be right and never apologize. Personally, I cannot stand fools. Yet, let us look at this in another light – we are human, and we can err. It is a mark of great character to apologize if you have made a mistake.

And, the world will not fall apart if you make an error. (Unless you are a nuclear scientist or the President who accidently imagined WMDs and went to war)

It is important to unwind and spend time with oneself. Indulgence is not a crime, and yes you deserve to buy that exquisite pair of shoes or earrings or a watch that will cost perhaps half your month’s paycheck. Sometimes, it is just ok to be happy.

Saving for the rainy day is encouraged, but do not miss out on life. Live it and love it!

Positive Thinking

Positive thinking. My grandma has always told me that if you believe there is plenty, there will be. If you truly believe you are happy; you will be. If you can visualize yourself winning at the end, you will win.

Interestingly, many scientists and researches think the same. Even the book The Secret shares the philosophy. Even SRK’s Om Shanti Om, harps on the same message.
a
The funny thing is that many disagree. My childhood friend always said, say your exam has gone terrible – and then you will get great marks. Another always felt that she was too large; when she was thin! The idea was that keep feeling big, to ensure you do not over eat.

Personally, I think it was a more a concept of having realistic expectations!

Positivity stems from within. Go spread it…

Express yourself more often

Family. It is one of those things that you cannot replace. There are differences, but ultimately they are the only ones who will stand by you when the curtain falls.

Of late, I have seen many people lost in their work or busy catching up with drink buddies. You know the simplest gesture of love goes a long way. Spend some time; get a greeting card…come on you are not too old to give your mom a teddy bear that says I love you Mom!

Why is it that when we are children we easily come and hug our parents? Gush when they say we look handsome/pretty…or simply badger them to praise a silly drawing you made.

I have been told by a friend, that the world is no longer worth bringing a child into. Children are too selfish and too self-contained.

Think again; is that you whom you are describing?

Movie Review: Chandni Chowk to China

There are some movies that should never be made. And Chandni Chowk to China is certainly one of them. A terrible attempt at slapstick comedy, it fails to hit even the dart board, forget the bull’s eye!

Akshay Kumar is a talented actor no doubt, but even he cannot keep this film from appearing like a toilet roll. As someone rightly commented, there is just too much of comedy, too many gags, too much of nonsensical melodrama and too much of silly action routines. In fact, at a point I even felt it was some stupid spoof of Karate Kid.

The plot, if you must know, is that Sidhu a.k.a. Akshay Kumar is a chef brought up in the lanes of Chandni Chowk, Delhi. He is poor and an orphan. The only support he has is Mithun Chakraborty who is his adopted father. Mithun lets Sidhu run his dhabha.

Yet, Sidhu dreams big and is forever looking at opportunities to change his fortune – from lottery tickets to astrologers, he has tried them all. One day, some Chinese men land up in Delhi and mistake him as their reincarnated leader who will free their oppressed village from the villain, Hojo. (Imagine Zorro in a D-grade movie here, that’s the concept)

So, Sidhu goes to China with his astrologer Chopstick (Ranvir Shorey). Chopstick has convinced Sidhu that they wish to honour him; he does not disclose the fact that the roadside chef has been chosen to kill the mighty Hojo.

Of course, now the bumbling idiot messes up completely and loses his loved one. This anger ultimately leads him to a guru who will teach him Kung-fu, to defeat Hojo. (This sequence is also terribly slapstick…the finesse needed is lacking)

Of course, the end is predictable – but the side sub plots and romantic allusions are quite unnecessary. Yet, the director felt it would be a runaway hit and therefore has kept a “to be continued” sign at the end, wishing that we will want to follow the misadventures of this idiotic character. Well, dear director – try not to waste any more film reel on this one. One disaster is quite enough!

Stars: *