Power plays and relationships

There is a certain Russian philosopher who described friendship akin to slavery. Now, I think the man was a bit too harsh. Friendship is a beautiful gift…
I think what he meant was the concept of power play. In every relationship there is an element of power play, no matter how subtle. Even in friendship or a marriage.



There is always one who adjusts slightly more than the other. You might not have noticed it, but when you go out for say dinner with your friends, the few minutes spent debating on the choice of cuisine, will pretty much determine the power-play relations. One will relent and go in for what the group wants, and there still might be one who imposes his/her wish – no one orders any mushroom dish today; please guys not Chinese! Someone will accede. Subtle choices, but the dominant player is established.

Many married couples and families’ power structure is determined based on who controls the remote. Is the bully elder brother adamant about forcing everyone to watch TNA Wrestling or is the youngest daughter controlling enough that each dinner must be had with Bob The Builder playing in the background.

Every relation is a two-way street. However how big your lane is, is decided by how you adjust to the power structure.

The biggest F word!

Fidelity. Yes, that is a word that perhaps is the most important word in any relationship. Of course, then come faith, fun and eventually the future.

So, what is important physical fidelity or emotional fidelity?

Perhaps, many would disagree, but emotional fidelity is more important, ultimately. It is because of the disrespect of the emotional bond that lets deceit, lies and needless “was at an official party” excuses creep in.

Now, forgiveness is another huge F word that one is advised to keep part of the relationship too. But, forgiving when your trust has been breached? Is that not, in fact, pure foolhardiness?

All I can say is that the hollowness inside of you, that emptiness after you know that the one you trusted and loved with your life betrays you…there can never be the same bond. Trust once lost, is difficult if not impossible to regain.

So, should you still forgive and go in for a relationship where the threads of love have already been burnt?

The conversation is thrown open to you…

It makes me see RED!

“Oh, darling…with people like you by my side, why would not my world rock….and you know honey how selective I am…you know more than most;-)”

Does this not sound like a very cheesy and flirtatious comment? You know what is the worst thing? It is made by an elderly lady to a young man who is quite hitched and getting married soon!

What is with the older crowd? I thought it was just old degenerate men in our local buses who still had too much of testosterone running through their body. I am clearly wrong; of late I have seen older women picking up younger boys happily just to satiate a few needs. And yes, some men seem to be making the most of it.

The world seems sadly driven by self obsession and a compulsive need to be desired. Switch on the television or surf the Internet and voila in minutes you would be told you resemble ‘Ugly Betty’. Turn around, and the first man who says, “Oh, baby you are sooo pretty” and you go after him like a flame after TNT. Why did I use an explosive for a metaphor, well that is because the relationship you zipped after is self destructive.

Many older women say they have enormous self confidence and therefore go for younger charming men. Baah – hogwash! The younger man gives you the confidence in the first place, if it was not for say Ashton perhaps Demi would not be the same person she is today.

So am I against it? No, find love wherever, but stooping down to the levels of depravity…that is sad. And I pity you, lady. Know, when you have over stepped the border…