Facebook updates you shouldn’t post

1. I have a rash. I need a doc. Puhleeease LIKE

2. This is such a beautiful day with cows grazing and cars honking in the fields

3. Yeah traffic is killing me. I just got run over by a truck!

4. Ooooo baby, baby, baby…ooooooo..

5. I danced naked with a monkey in the Saturday night party. See YouTube video!

6. Hey guys, wanna see what I stole from Spencers?

7. Do you think Dad will notice that dent in his car? Dammit! He is on my friend list!!

8. Don’t you love it when you sitting on pile of shit and posting status updates?

9. Yup, finally the constipation drugs started working. Pooooop!!

10. You still haven’t figured out that I am a big, smelly, hairy man posing as a babe!

Top 10 lines to annoy the credit card telecaller

We all have received annoying phone calls asking us to sign up for a new credit card, and they don’t take no so well so I present…


Top 10 lines to annoy the credit card telecaller:

1. Hey, do you deliver pizza?

2. This is Suresh Kalmadi; and yes I would love to defraud you.

3. I think you sound beautiful, why don’t you audition for horror nights.

4. Is that you Justin Bieber?

5. No matter what I cannot satiate your desire, can I? You need some spanking naughty thing, you...

6. You have reached the office of George W. Bush.

7. Mother, I think I hear voices in my head

8. I know you trying to talk, but all I hear is blah, blah, blaaaah…

9. Will you be my mommy?

10. I hate all types of cards - even greeting cards.

MISSED CALL...eeeks!

you can run, but you cannot hide..HAHAHA

This is a story about a time when mobile tariff plans were sufficiently expensive….in fact, most of us were still figuring out how to squeeze in the longest message in one single SMS.


So this friend of mine, in fact this cute boy friend, figured out something sweet; well at first it was sweet…and then I realized I had given bait to a monster! This was the MISSED CALL.

The missed call now could have many connotations for people. However, Mr.BF said it meant quite literally, “I missed you…” and of course, it went on further, “I was thinking of you…”, “You are always in my thoughts…”etc etc.

At first, I thought, awww now isn’t that cute. It was indeed flattering to be missed. What an affectionate young man.

Then slowly the ugly MISSED CALL monster reared its head.

I could get 5 missed calls in the space of 15 mins, AND the intensity would viciously increase if I did not return it with my own “missed call”.

If I tried putting it on silent it would buzzzzzzzz the hell out of me. I couldn’t switch it off, and he knew that, because as a journo I had to be reachable.

Urggh!

Now those ‘sweet’ MISSED CALLs meant:

“I missed you…AND therefore, I believe it is my right to hound you like a maniac, even though you just told me that you are in an all important meeting and will not like to be interrupted”

“I was thinking of you…. HOWEVER, you must realize that I am too broke to actually call you. Are you SERIOUSLY still dating me?”

“You are always in my thoughts… BUT I am too idiotic to make real conversation, and you should seriously revaluate your options here!”

Oh yes, the MISSED CALL gnawed at my sensibilities. You could see the grey cells imploding.

Obviously (at least to me) there couldn’t be a happy ending, as all reasoning and logic failed. I was doomed to either listen to the vehement buzzing in my ears OR to break up.

We went our separate ways, until caller tunes happened. Yes. He would call just to listen to “cool music, yaar”.

Today, I want to thank telecom companies for having affordable tariff plans and having call block options :)

My request – can I get spam SMS block now, pleeeeeease!

Movie Review: Raavan

This was a South-Indian movie remade for the Hindi-speaking audience. The great director, Mr. Mani Ratnam fielded this one to the public.

The story is about this confused and angry man, Beera. He has many shades to his character – 10 shades actually, representing symbolically the 10 heads of Raavan. He kidnaps ‘Sita’ of this Ramyana, which is played by Aishwarya Rai to bring the ‘Ram’ of the film to him. Ram/ or Dev (Lord) as he is called is angry and beside himself. He will bring Beera to justice. However, his character departs from Ram now. Dev is now a regular mean policeman, who can go to any length to bring back his wife.

Beera is shown as a good man who due to his circumstances of life has gone bad. His isolation from reality, makes him act weird and make odd noises. He wants to strike fear in everyone’s heart. But the jungles and the people in the village are his family. It is now very Veerapan style khichdi. The village people want to protect their saviour, who protects them, feeds them and in general is a hero to the local village folk.

Anyway, so Madam is now trying to escape and act all bold, but she is slowly seeing the other side of the picture. She learns why she was kidnapped and is horrified. The circumstances change and predictably we have our Raavan falling hard for our damsel in distress.

The ending shows how deceitful the modern day Ram / Dev is, and how he uses his suspicion for his wife to his advantage.

Raavan as a film that looks good. It has beautiful shots of the jungle, a beautiful Aishwarya Rai, and breathtaking shots of steep cliffs. The unfortunate part is that it is a bit disjointed. It seems like a lot of reel was edited to make it slick. The effect was a film with abrupt scenes, and one too many songs for no apparent reason.

If there is one good thing to watch for is for Govinda. Yes, he is in the film!



Raavan movie cast and crew details

Star cast: Abhishek Bachchan, Aishwarya Rai, Govinda, Vikram, Bipasha Basu, Ravi Kissan, Suhasini and Tejaswini Kolhapure

Director and Story: Mani Ratnam

Banner: Big Pictures

Producer: Sharda

Music: A.R. Rehman

Lyricist: Gulzar

Presented by: Madras Talkies

Raavan movie Release date: 18th June 2010

Star: *** (that was one extra star just for the cinematography)

Experience Air… AAAAH!

This happened a couple years ago.... in an airline I'll call Experience Air.. It's a true experience which I had written about, but I don't want to name the airline here...

On March 25 I flew down to Delhi – my first on a low cost airline. And for Christ sake was it shaky!

Ok, so we arrive at the tarmac to board the plane. My father travelling with me mulls over...trying to decide whether one tyre really has lesser air than the other, or is it his flight of imagination. I blissfully unaware climb on board, only to discover I am stuck with a young mother with a wailing baby in her arms. Ah, I decide, there goes my sleep. Thankfully soon after the child seems amused by a plastic giraffe his mother offers Bunny – that is what the lady keeps calling him.
The plane starts…thuk thuk, dichik dichik, thuk thuk….vroooom vrroooooooooooooooom. I am not used to so much of noise and certainly not the amount of jolts during the run up that are usual of train travel. My father and I look at each other…we are still more amused than afraid. The airplane noses up into the air and the engine seems to be struggling under the pressure. It reminds me of my 10 year old Maruti when it got stuck in a 1-foot deep 'pot-hole' last monsoon.
.
Finally we are in the air; Bunny is quickly losing interest in the yellow and purple polka dotted giraffe and is tugging at his mother's T-shirt for something more intellectually stimulating. Sadly, mum dear only takes the giraffe and tries to make it jump around on the now open table in front. Really, do giraffes jump… it seems that is what my rabbit named co-passenger is thinking as he gawks and tries to catch his plastic buddy in action.
I quickly put on my ear-plugs, turn on the Sony Walkman that my boyfriend loaned me as my cell phone conked off sometime back and relax. The familiar strains of Bryan Adams, Richard Marx and Westlife soothe my soul.
The air hostess – Garima – soon comes along vending vegetable croissants combos and some sandwich. I buy the croissant combo – it tastes horrible…but then all airplane food does. The fruit cake though is very scrumptious. Poor dad tries eating some of the ice cold croissant with similar success or should I say displeasure!
All the while the plane seems to be a bit too turbulent. And I am qualified to make that statement – frankly if I did not know for sure that I was born in a hospital, I would swear I made my big entry on an airplane.
Now, I am sleepy, but Bunny's mum wants to make small talk.
So, which class are you in?
Urgh, I am tired of convincing people that I am definitely an adult and working.
Oh, so you are a journalist…when are you getting married?
Now, why is that my being an adult mean I necessarily need to be married, anyway I grumble on, amiably of course, saying yes I will some day. Unsatisfied, she goes on: Oh, so you are looking for a suitor? Ok, what is this? FBI for interrogating eligible spinsters. Or is this like a matrimony.com on air. Oh, and who is travelling with you, she starts off again.
Thankfully I decide to play with baby Bunny and in turn distract my interrogator. The journey is quickly ending; I smile at the prospect of seeing my mum and brother again. Dichik, thuk thuk, dichik dichik, thuk thuk…no, not the jolts again! The funny sounding pilot announces we are soon to arrive at the Indira Gandhi airport. The plane seems so shaky, my father and I are saying our prayers. It seems to be wobbling. And then it hits the tarmac with a loud thud! And it shudders as I hold on to my seat…the air hostess had announced we could rip out the seat cushions to use as "floatation devices" if we land at sea.. huh, talk about low cost! Look ma, no life jacket just seat cushions.
Anyway, we land. And when we get off we notice that the airplane hatch door is covered with black soot or fungus, as it seems from afar. The side view glass for the co-pilot is also covered in muck or perhaps something is peeling off it… God, help us!
I have arrived safely, but shall be making the flight back on Saturday. I have already paid up and now I really can't change.  May the lord be with us, and I get another stab at writing my experiences. Amen!

Movie Review: Yes Man

Jim Carrey is wonderful in this movie. This is a movie of a man who has lost his sexy, blonde girlfriend and now is stuck in a rut. He sulks, he refuses to have a social life and declines every opportunity – good or bad – that comes his way. He works as a loan officer in a bank and has not progressed. Everything is a ‘no’.

That is when Terrence, a guru that preaches the magic of ‘Yes’, comes into Frank’s (i.e. Jim Carrey’s) life. He tells him that he has cast a spell, a covenant to himself, which compels him to say yes to all opportunities posed to him. He must not refuse…

This leads to hilarious situations, where Frank finds himself saying yes to things that he would not have done in his wildest dreams. He is learning Korean, taking flying lessons, playing the guitar and even is forced to play footsie with an old grandma!

It is a film that helps you see how much of our lives is determined by invisible boundaries that we have set for ourselves. It is said that if you keep doing the same things over and over again, and expect different results, it is insanity. And the truth of the matter is, most of us are actually insane! Push the envelope and experience life; that is the message of the movie. Hilariously put, but worth a watch.

Stars: * * * ½

Movie Preview: Slumdog Millionaire

This one is racing towards the Oscars headlong. It is a pity they haven’t had a worldwide release yet. It is based on Vikas Swarup’s novel Q&A. Now, this is about the streets and slums of Mumbai. (And the ironical thing is that is exactly where I saw its first copy – pirated, of course, lying yesterday! It was on a rickety table, placed on a pavement near a prominent railway station. I confess, I did stop to skim through a few pages, but was quite appalled at the way the novel seemed written. I have heard the director has really taken pains to clean up the mess and present a more complete story.)

In fact, there seems to be a tendency amongst our writers, of late, to explore the squalor hidden beneath the Indian underbelly, be it Arvind Adiga’s White Tiger or now Vikas Swarup’s Q&A. Shantaram, Maximum City and Black Friday have specifically been set in Mumbai. And all these books have won many awards. (Why do we have to always play to the galleries, and act so third-world, to get an award?!)

Mumbai, you see, is a cosmopolitan city. It has life – the urban who live in high towers and gated bunglows surrounded by guards; and there is life on the roads, pavements, bridges and even road dividers. If you do not believe me then next time move out of South Mumbai once, and as your airplane lands look out the window – you will see Asia’s largest slum area, Dharavi…

The protagonist of Slumdog Millionaire, Jamal, belongs to a slum; he is a young teenager who is orphaned, uneducated and depressingly poor. Yet he participates in, ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire’ (Indian version – Kaun Banega Crorepati). And he is winning! The host (played by Anil Kapoor) is in total disbelief. This uneducated fool is cheating, he alleges. The teenager, Jamal, is arrested by the police. A lawyer, Irrfan Khan, appears and interrogates his client – how do you know all the answers? And, then the real story unfolds of Jamal's experiences while growing up in constant penury. Experiences that have hurt him, humoured him, caused anguish, sickened him at times, but in the end educated him….

With 20 awards to its name, it seems like a winner.

Movie Review: The Day the Earth Stood Still

Disappointing is the word for this one. Keanu Reeves is a great actor, who has given stellar performances in films like Speed and The Matrix triology….here well, the less said the better.

The movie is more a damp squid; we are as usual the self destructive animals.

Humans, you see, have a tendency to see the worst in everything and especially each other. We are disrespectful to the environment and would rather wage war, and look for invisible WMD’s than sit and debate. Well, that is, what a Japanese alien (yeah!) placed on Earth has gauged from his years on our planet. Yet, we are a lovable, whimsical lot whom he cares for as well.

Yet, the super alien, Keanu believes he needs to save the Earth from further assault from humans. But when he sees a step mom hugging her step son, his soul stirs and he thinks we can change. How? No answer. Do we all adopt stepchildren? Or shall we all weep like the lady protagonist, and pray to gods (or aliens) to save us? What is the guarantee we can change, when we haven’t in years? And why in the world does the Secretary of Defense, USA speak for all of mankind!!!

It is an unreasonable movie, action is down to zilch and there are just few twilight zone special effects thrown in.

It is so bad, that even the aliens watching it will be bewildered!

And by the way, this god-this-is-the-end-of-the-world story is not original, in fact it is a remake of a 1951 classic sci-fi movie, that even won a Golden Globe. However, important sequences have been skipped, making it quite incomprehensible.

Stars: * *

Movie Review: Wall-E

Oh my, this is the sweetest animation movie and perhaps the best I have seen after the Ice Age series. It cannot get cuter and sweeter and funnier than this.

The Earth has been abandoned, because of the pollution and excessive garbage on the planet. Small robots, Wall-Es, have been designed to crush the size of the garbage – however all of them are dysfunctional, save one. This is the last Wall-E and he has a pet cockroach.

One day a lovely white ‘girl’ robot descends on Earth who also takes to cleaning, but ends up discovering a sapling that Wall-E has found recently. She shuts down and is whisked away by her spaceship... Wall-E is in love and follows her to the outer limits of space.

This ship has humans who, after centuries of sitting on cozy, automated chairs and communicating through virtual networks, are lazy and unable to walk. When the captain of the ship learns about his home planet, there is quite a tussle between him and the fleet of robots designed to keep them in continual orbit.

How Wall-E saves the human race and his lady love, is the most endearing story I have seen in a long time. There is hardly any dialog, just their expressions are enough…


Stars: *****

Movie Review: Horton Hears A Who

I have been neglecting my animated buddies. So let me talk of Horton. Cute elephant, truly and one with courage and determination…

Horton one day while he is bathing hears a person shout out from a speck of dust. And that is how he finds a whole new world on a speck, which he then balances on a flower.

The jungle does not believe him; the young ones do, though. The self-proclaimed ruler of the jungle – a lady Kangaroo – is unhappy with Horton’s ‘beliefs’. She tries to have the flower crushed by an evil vulture. Yet, Horton is undaunted and goes forth to save this new world and tuck them safely on a mountain far far away.

A story of believing in yourself; and not getting swayed by a mob. It is actually a story book by Dr.Suess, the second one in fact.

The theme is good, but the makers did a much better job of delivering this message in a funnier and more powerful manner in Ice Age.

Stars: ***

Movie Review: Burn After Reading

George Clooney and Brad Pitt star in it. Yup, that is pretty much the review.

Actually, this is quite a simple movie and humorous too. Not the ha-ha-ha type, but strangely amusing. It is about how clueless the entire Intelligence department is always.

An ex-CIA analyst has recorded his memoirs or in other words, mindless banter. However, the CD goes missing, and all hell breaks loose. The CD is found by Brad Pitt, who works in a gym. He and his other lady instructor, Litdzy Litz (at least that is how here name sounded like) tries to get Russia involved trying to buy the drivel. The clueless duo wants to use it to get money for a few cosmetic surgeries for Litdzy...

Brainless is the word; but well intended. It will bring a smile to your face for sure, and at times will leave you scratching your head exasperated at their foolishness. But then, it is a lazy afternoon fare anyway!

Stars: **

Movie Review: Death Race

The world as usual has gone to gone to the greedy corporate dogs. The prison system has become a gladiator’s arena – only this time, the audience views the prisoners’ dilemma through the Internet. is

The plot is about the prison system being handled by a private company. They maintain the system and keep law and order in place. However, these are greedy entrepreneurs – they want to make money out of the prison system as well. And hence, begins Death Race.

Rules are simple, you survive and win five Death Races – you walk out a free man. But, there is a question of TRPs. So, the Death Race has twisted men behind the wheels, who are allowed to bomb, kill and mutilate his opponent and his navigators. This ghastly play brings in the viewership.

One ‘heroic’ driver, Frank, has a face so terrible, that he hides behind a mask. Only, Frank does not survive his fourth race and is replaced with a man convicted of killing his wife.

Action, drama and lots and lots of explosives. A true-blue bad boy flick...the usual Jason Statham material.
Nothing great, but if you have nothing to do and the meaningless gore does bother you, then you can see it.

Stars: **

Movie Review: Quantum of Solace

James Bond is seeking solace…he wants to avenge his girlfriend’s death. The first time you see him hung up on a girl! Else this Casanova is known to flit from one lady to another without a second thought.

Anyway, it has the usual action sequences and an element of drama. The neurotic villain who believes the world can be controlled by him, the Bond girl who believes can take on the worst of men, the doubting yet protective M and of course, 007 himself – emaciated looking at first, though.

Even then, it does not live up to the expectations set after Casino Royale. Daniel Craig is still flexing muscle, but the rawness that audiences liked so much is missing. However, the problem is with the flimsy story line itself.

Pierce Brosnan had been able to carry off the flimsiest of plots with ease – his suave approach, endless gadgets and soft smile had carried them through, but the new Bond is struggling on that count.

Daniel is indeed a great actor and we hope he gets to act in a better Bond movie soon and gets a much much better Bond girl. He deserves it!

Stars:***

Movie Review: The Dark Knight (Batman movie)

This Dark Knight is nothing short of amazing. If you do not catch this flick in the cinema this season, you will regret it…

Yes, I am a big fan of superhero antics, but Batman has forever remained one that hasn’t appealed to my senses. He just seemed just an angry rich kid who did not really get technology too much.

This movie, however, is mind boggling. It is intelligent, dark, scary and chaotic!

In fact, it is has plots and sub plots that are not easy to predict. As the Joker (Batman’s arch rival puts it), “I am not the scheming kind...I am like a dog chasing a car. If I ever caught one, I would not know what to do with it…introduce chaos…anarchy”.

To extrapolate a little, the best selling book The Black Swan talks of exactly this. Of course, more eloquently. It essentially says that we humans have a tendency to rationalize and look for logical patterns. We try, foolishly, to predict the next course of action…we expect certain outcomes. However, it is when a black swan ( i.e. completely random, unexpected event) occurs does it throws you off. The expected cannot make you panic.

Therefore, expect the unexpected.

The movie has really fantastic special effects. The suit, the weapons and the technology is more sophisticated. Joker is so dastardly that you do not hate him, but rather are astonished with the way his mind ticks.

Batman, Harvey Dent – the very respectable district attorney and the Joker are the prime characters.

I just have one thing to say – this movie is an absolutely, completely must watch.


Stars: * * * * 1/2

PS: The Joker is played by Heath Ledger. The actor passed away this January 2008. This role perhaps consumed him completely as he had rehearsed to play the psychopath all alone for a month in an apartment... A role he had described "extremely difficult", but is the best performance he ever gave....

Movie Review: Hancock

Yeah!!! This is not your ordinary good guy beats the villain and saves the girl story. Though, it does have this theme. (C’mon, it is a never fail formula)

This story is in fact about a drunk and depressed man who has amazing super powers. He can swing whales and trash trains with just one hand. He hates being called an “a**hole and flies into rage every time people call him that.

His idea of justice isn’t what the citizens of LA have asked for.

Being an amnesia patient he is sad and alone…he does not know who he is, why he has these powers, and if ever anyone even cared for him.

Yet, there comes along a savior who helps him pick up pieces of his life and work to make a difference. There are moments when you finally see the sadness behind his I-do-not-care power packed exterior.

Will Smith is brilliant here. Charlize Theron has quite an action packed scene that would make want to stand up and cheer for her. And yes, there is Jason Bateman, the PR man that god would want to hire.

Exciting, with a twist… Not typical, but astonishingly a comic hero movie that actually has some depth!

Stars ****

Incredible Hulk

It’s bigger and better than before.

The beloved monster has lost his girlfriend. He leads an ordinary life of a daily wager in Portugal. And in the confines of a slum dwelling is experimenting with antidotes for gamma poisoning.

But then such peace is only temporary.

General – the ever faithful villainous Army man is behind him. He has tracked down the Hulk and now he wants to capture him.

Hulk is a failed experiment; if successfully captured then the same gamma ray technology that turned the demure scientist into Hulk, could be used to make an army of humans ‘defending the nation’ with this incredible strength.

But the Hulk is invincible…

So, we have an army officer that during the course of the movie converts into a monster that is scarier and evil…

The drama continues with an awesome fight between Hulk, who now is the superhero defending his reunited girlfriend, and the evil monster.

The adrenalin rush never ends… Special effects are astonishing and the story is superb with an emotional angle that endears the Hulk to the audiences…

A sequel is surely due!

Stars: * * * *

Post retirement solution – become a celeb judge

Have a flagging career in the Bollywood or Hollywood industry? Are your movies no longer pulling in an audience? Or have you got too many wrinkles for the screen? Well, do not fear – become a celebrity judge!

Yes, this is the new age money-making mantra. Let us look at some famous celeb judges…

The first one that comes to mind is Simon Cowell of American Idol. Had you ever heard of him, before he became the nasty, brutally honest judge on TV? Even if you did have an inkling, there were no “we love Simon” or “I hate Simon” shirts on sale in US, like this before.

Paula Abdul – the lady’s singing career has nosedived; she hasn’t given a hit in years…but she’s making it big as a judge. Courting controversy for giving judgments beforehand, romancing contestants and getting into lip-locks with Simon are her TV trademarks.

And of course the DAWG – Randy Jackson. He has equated so many people with the canine breed, that he might as well be dogs own adopted Idol!

Then, I think of our very own Javed Akhtar. He started off in the Indian Idol as a respectable, intelligent old man, who used to be concerned with diction. Today, the poet is seemingly available for every gig in town and has started over-talking. He can be downright mean…something Shabana Azmi should check on very soon.

Saroj Khan – Man, she got lucky!! Not only did the almost vanished choreographer get back her groove with the dance show, Naach Baliye. But she has even bagged an independent show on NDTV Imagine teaching nubile girls and young men to shake to the Bollywood beat.

Another one who moved from his failed Bollywood career to a celeb judge and NEVER looked back is, Rajiv Behl of Boogie Woogie dance program. He has just stuck to the judging chair for nearly 10 years now!

Actually, judging contestants has worked quite well for certain established music composers like Annu Malik, Vishal-Shekhar, Bappi Lahiri, Himesh Reshamiya etc. They listened to the best and have been able to get them to sing for them for almost free.

In fact, the biggest beneficiary was Amitabh Bachchan. When his company ABCL had gone bust and he was reeling under debts, Kaun Banega Crorepati rescued him. SRK too made money off the show and used it fund his movie production Om Shanti Om.

Really, who said television was an idiot box? It is more like a make-me-rich-quick box! All hail the TV!!!

Camera friendly celeb sport stars

Sports is no longer, alas, just about performing on the field; it is about how you play to the audience. Trendy haircuts, made-to-order designer clothing and the perfect Reebok, Nike or Addidas shoe has become part every chic sportpersons ensemble. In fact, they are style icons that are at the very least endorsing 10 brands at a time.

Let’s take a look at the
Top 5 ‘camera-friendly’ celebrity sportstars:

Rank 1) David Beckam – He sure has some great moves on and off the football field. One of the richest sportsperson, who has been in the brand ambassador lane so long, he could open a school for aspiring celebrities!

Rank 2) Anna Kournikova – She may be one of the worst tennis players of recent times, but she has looks that can sell honey to the bees themselves!

Rank 3) Michael Schumacher – Not only does he look cute in his red suit, but he has been Formula 1’s darling for his brilliant racing skills. Though retired amid allegations of not indulging in fair-play, he still has potential to be exploited.

Rank 4) Sachin Tendulkar – The cricket world swears by his name. He has been credible on the field, and lends the same characteristic to the products he endorses. That is why it was quite a shocker when he endorsed Home Trade – a company that turned out completely bogus and ran off with investor money.

Rank 5) Tiger Woods – He is charming, classy and elegant. Woods appeals to high-rollers in the corporate world. Still quite underrated as a celebrity sportperson, he has many years in front of him to encash his fame he has earned on the golf course.



And then there are some sport stars who have potential in the future…

Sport celebrities of the future?

Rank 1) Magic Johnson – Well he’s still new to this game. This basketball star has still some time left to really weave magic on the screen, but can do well if he keeps his wits together.

Rank 2) The Great Khali – Unsure if WWE rules allow this wrestler to endorse any other brand except their brand of fighting, but if he is permitted this guy will be a run away hit…at least for the moment.

Rank 3) Kimi Raikkonen – He is an excellent driver and is leading in the F1 pack. If he continues his winning streak, he may just roll in some big bucks in the future.

Rank 4) Mahendra Singh Dhoni – He has turned out to be the most successful Indian cricket captain, led the World Cup team and loves the camera.


That is how the list looks right now. But this list is dynamic; the line into the hall of fame is long and winding.

The Great Khali madness on TV

Well, if you still have not been choked to the death with news of the Great Khali, then you must be unique! It is crazy how the media – national and international – have adopted Khali as its darling poster boy.

The man who looks retarded and abnormal has suddenly been hailed as an Indian mascot. His eight pack and long drawl has been endearing the more sensible – or at least the perceived sensible – like Sachin Tendulkar even. The way the man, who teaches our kids to go beat each other senseless everyday, is being idolized it is not a far fetched idea that he may soon be bestowed a Bharat Ratna soon.

Khali, if you have any brains left please let the kids know that what you do on screen is pure fantasy. And you do not endorse violence. Seriously, Mr.Ramadoss instead of getting after SRK for smoking, look into the screening of WWE into millions of gullible young minds.

Movie Review: Speed Racer

Another movie that has released close on the heels of action flick Iron Man is Speed Racer. Adapted from the Japanese animation by the same name it is a movie about a younger brother’s fight to avenge his ‘dead’ elder brother – Rex.

Rex Racer was in his time the best race car driver of all times. He, however, is supposed to have died in a Grand Prix that turned dirty. Accusation flew and Rex’s family was investigated for employing illegal means to win the races.

As li’l Speed grew, all he has ever wanted is to bring back the respect his family commanded. Racing is in his blood and he drives his Mach 5 like stupendously. As his name grows the racing cartel wants him to join them and play for their company.

Speed refuses only to realize that the cartel has been for years fixing the outcome of all races and since Rex was not on their side he was axed… To catch the bad guys he bands with a couple of racers including an amazing racer named Racer X. A race car drive whose abilities astonish even Speed.

The movie has very cartoon like special effects and is a typical good-versus-evil story. Star cast wise there is only one really well known name that is Susan Sarandon as Speed and Rex’s mom. Really, what was she thinking when she signed this. Susan has been brilliant in movies like Stepmom, but this was just tiny role that any run-of-the-mill actress could easily have slipped into.

It is neither a great movie nor is it bad.

It is an average flick that you could watch on DVD or perhaps if the summer holidays are near then you and your kids could go watch this. The racing scenes are fun to watch and some of the specially engineered new “tricks” that have been added to the cars for the Grand Prix race can be a real treat.

Stars: * * *