Unlearning to fit in

There are few comic strips that become legend, and Calvin & Hobbes is surely one.

Calvin is charming with his viewpoints that do not restrict themselves in the realm of the plausible.

He is like every child, and the child within us. He is curious and can entertain himself endlessly. A bathtub can be a boat, his rubber duck can be a shark. His closet a haunted house...

Calvin and his imaginary friend Hobbes are very reminiscent of children who are very bright. So much so that the ordinary holds no value for them. Since they have the capability to think differently, they are shunned by peers.

It our desire to ‘fit-in’ that diminished our creativity. We try to ‘fit-in’ to mainstream jobs, we try to ‘fit-in’ by appearing to read tombs of classic literature, we try to ‘fit-in’ by nodding in approval to what the general team’s opinion….

It takes a unusual thinker to progress. If Galileo really believed the Earth was flat, we’d be sitting here worshipping the rain gods and singings peons to the sun and moon.

Self-belief is important; and so is the courage to share a different opinion.

Comparing children

Oh god, when will parents realize that every time they compare their child to another, they are doing grave injustice.

It is commonplace to hear parents berating a child….

“Why did he get more marks?”

“Why can’t you be like those kids?”

“Do you know Uncle’s son got into MIT! You think you can match him?”

“Isn’t she such a pretty girl? Wish she was my daughter…”

“Now see, he plays football like a real champion. Perhaps you should just drop it, you won’t qualify…”

You know, these are like poison arrows. Once you have released them, no amount of love can repair the hurt.

Learn to respect your child. Learn to give him/her space to grow.

Did Van Gogh learn to paint when he was 5!! The amount of pressure for kids to outclass the other is mind boggling. From extra tennis lessons to the violin class, they have to be present every where.

It is great to let them explore their talents, but let them enjoy it as well. Everything in life is not a competition. Sometimes, having fun is more important than hitting a home run.

Express yourself more often

Family. It is one of those things that you cannot replace. There are differences, but ultimately they are the only ones who will stand by you when the curtain falls.

Of late, I have seen many people lost in their work or busy catching up with drink buddies. You know the simplest gesture of love goes a long way. Spend some time; get a greeting card…come on you are not too old to give your mom a teddy bear that says I love you Mom!

Why is it that when we are children we easily come and hug our parents? Gush when they say we look handsome/pretty…or simply badger them to praise a silly drawing you made.

I have been told by a friend, that the world is no longer worth bringing a child into. Children are too selfish and too self-contained.

Think again; is that you whom you are describing?

The Lollypop Race

This is one of my earliest memories. Racing with a lollypop. A delicious chocolate éclair flavoured one I took, hard on the outside and when you bit it, it would release a soft melting chocolate that will squirt onto your tongue…mmmm…yummy…. Ok, ok no distractions.

Let me take you down memory lane. I must have been in nursery or kindergarten when this happened.

I and my classmates stood in a huge field with scores of people all around us seated on benches; parents we guess. So, what is the occasion we are animatedly discussing.

The coach hushes us and shows us a poster with infinite number of lollypops stuck on it. A million different flavours done in a multitude of colourful wrappings. Whoa, as a three-and-a-half-year-old that is a view which passes for pure unadulterated ecstasy.

“Keep your hands behind your back and using only your teeth free the lollypop from the board,” says the coach.

What I fail to hear while romancing the notion of having a lollypop so near to my lips is that after you free the lollypop you must run to the finish line. It is a race. And we are celebrating our annual Sport’s Day.

“Ok, now. Start!”

Aha, I had already had laid eyes on my beauty– a sweet chocolate lollypop. And there I went ahead furiously biting the white stick that held it up.

“Free at last dear one,” I said to myself. It has taken me barely 10 seconds to free the lollypop. And now I glance upon my classmates. They are still at it. Gnawing at its end yet unable to free the glued confectionary.

“Ok, so now what? Can I just start eating? Or will that seem rude…perhaps I should just wait for the rest to grab theirs as well,” I start contemplating.

“Yes!” exclaims one gleeful friend of mine freeing his orange lollypop.

And there he goes running, whizzing past me. Another classmate has also by this time bitten of a lollypop and is now readying to break into a sprint.

“Oh, so you have to run, eh,” I figure.

Zoooooooooom.

That is me running happily, skipping with joy…. And then I spot my parents and sprint even faster to greet them and show off my loot. As my parents hug me, I see a teacher coming towards me.

“Here, come with me Akansha,” she announces cheerily as she offers her hand.

And I find out I have just won the race! Silver medal, but why nitpick :-) :-)

“You may have your lollypop now,” says my teacher.

“Now, is this not an absolutely superb day? I get to eat my favourite chocolate treat, win a race and get to pose for the cameras,” the very visibly excited little me has concluded.

Years later today I can safely say that childhood is bliss. A treat in itself undeniably the best God has on offer:-)